I suck at keeping this up regularly... If anyone actually looks to reading this blog. my bad. Sometimes it is hard for me to face facts which is really what this blog forces me to do.

I have been seein'/hangin' with this fella since i would say September. We have a lot of traits in common. He is from the windy city, a place i have yet to visit. he is younger than i and talks quite often of his goals and aspirations. i am inspired by his spirit and enthused by his ambition. i think that i have stopped thinking about the relationship aspect with him per se (mind you i said "i think"). i can say that i am interested. i still want that someone who is into me. ONLY! Maybe it is just today. i am so blah. my phone is missing and i am having blackberry withdrawals. so maybe i am just tired and don't really care at this moment. i think i put to many descriptors in this post. this one is easily identifiable. is anyone reading this? hopefully not. kinda.

Not smitten anymore... At the risk of sounding angry I will keep this brief. I need to do some soul searching cause an ample buxom gal's love life sucks. I think that it is a reflection of what is going on with me. In the late 90's I was a sucker for a self- help book, that is until I realized that my investment in them was a waste of money because they were all saying the same thing.

So I cooled my heels and started just being. I took the recommendation "stop looking for a mate" blah, blah, blah. Well I ain't been looking and look what I got. OK wait... I have a lot so... All I am saying is... What would possess a potentially married man (he actually claims 3 things... married, single and dating) to holla at me. Yes I am a fly filly! BUT that is not the point. What is the attraction beyond that on a deeper spiritual level that would make him think that I would be interested in that. Here is a tip about a sista i am to needy (lack of a better term) for that. I want attention (that is until I don't). You have a kid... fine. I understand what comes with that and can determine whether I am willing to deal. But if I ask you your "status" and you say all 3 and can not tell me what you mean by that... it ain't gonna fly.

To be honest I have been in a situation were I was the other woman. I was young he was young and we were both idiots. I have also been the cheater in a relationship... again I was young and an idiot. Both situations were uncomfortable. I am sure Karma has a hand in what is my life now. So let me say this.

Universe, I am wholeheartedly apologetic for what I have done in my past and seek forgiveness.I apologize to myself and seek my own forgiveness and I ask for Universal assistance in moving on. I also ask that married men (and women) stop thinking that cheating is ok!

Gabcast! Ample, Radio Fit for a Goddess #1 - Welcome to Ample

An introduction of what is to come in this monthly series. Stay tuned for September when we officially launch... Ample, Radio Fit for a Goddess.

uhh... i received a knock at my door this evening and there he was. the man who disappeared from my life. why am i still smitten? am i a glutton for punishment? i would normally get all flustered and emotional. but time is truly a healer. he knows he f'ed up royally. i was nothing but good to him. and there he was at my doorstep this evening. i was calm and i stood outside and talked with him for a while. basically he needs someone to take care of him. he told be he has high blood pressure because he is not eating right or working out. physically he looks well he does look like he could eat better. he actually was waddling a bit not in an obese way though. ahhhh.... this man! taurus that he is. all stubborn and bull headed. it was out of the blue that he came today. the cards made no mention of him that i can recollect. he smelled good. damn. i still smell him.

I seem to have created the man that I want. You would venture to say "HOORAY for you gurl, you go!" were it not for one simple problem... he is in pieces. Ok check this out. There is R... he is attractive physically not my type but makes me feel protected and overall taken care of. Then there is J... he is funny and a great communicator. I love talking with him and that he poses thoughts and challenges my thinking and his own. Then there is JJ... he is the romantic one who likes long walks, holding hands and cuddling, taking me to dinner and just being. Finally there is W... he well he is passionate and caring and physically attractive in my type sort of way. And well... he is great in other physical ways. All that to say UNIVERSE... thank you for this experience for showing me all the things all wrapped up in my man.

ooooooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! it has been a long time but i need to stop kidding myself and be real. i must blog on the regular it always feels so much better when i let it out ;). SO... here is something i need to let out. i have recently been accused of being condescending (for lack of a better term). boy did that take me aback. you know in psychology when you study perception and there are about 5 different ones. one where people see you, you see yourself and family sees you... etc, etc... i can not remember the theory exactly. well this year i have been put in front of a mirror that stings. i have always thought myself to be a caring and loving individual. i have always been sarcastic and if i don't like you i don't get down with you but i would never blatantly be like i don't like someone. i just wouldn't be all fake and in their face. anyway before a long story gets longer. i have been accused of being particularly condescending to men. EVEN worse... if i am then how the hell will i ever get a man. shit! now what do i do? do you mean to tell me i have been turning the brothas in about face all this time. couldn't someone have told me this before. so, i take it to the high council on all things kim... my ex-boyfriend. (who knows me well we were just not meant to be) the high council on all things kim has informed me that i can be condescending (yet another mortal blow) and that it is not a regular occurence UNLESS someone is a downright ass hole. so then i begin to think again and find some truth to what he is saying. it is true that if you are an asshole imma get in that ass and it might come off as condescending. but back to the man thing... as long a common sense prevails it is nothing to worry about. the high council on all things kim informed me that i had to get in his ass once or more times cause he said some dumb shit. SO then i did not feel so bad because i realized that this could translate across the sexes and not just men would feel the condescention ( it is a word now!) so i am not doomed to be single for ever!!!!! WOOOOHOOO! so all that read this... brothas i am available and i promise to be uncondescending (yes that is a word now too!) if you just give me a try. i am cute and cuddly. but don't get me vex cause i will condescend if provoked!

muah in buxomdom,
me

i love music so this would be so ideal... http://ipods.freepay.com/?r=18678812 i was in pentagon city and the mac store was so close but so far away from my pockets... oh woe is me... i hope that i can get it for free.